Should You Say That? 8 Questions to Think About

Have you ever been hurt by the words someone said behind your back, or regretted things you said about someone else?

It could’ve started as a simple misunderstanding or a little bit of idle conversation . . . but then words became hurtful.

We often act as though they have no power—even after experiencing their effects.

Words can have an immense impact. God’s Word agrees—just look at Proverbs 18:21 or Proverbs 16:24.

Are you speaking careless words about your friend, sibling, or coworker?

Consider asking these eight questions before saying a word.

1. Is It True?

Is what you’re about to say true or just a rumor?

Do you know it’s true? Or did you get this information secondhand?

As harmless as gossip seems in the moment, it’s usually not the whole truth.

If you’ve ever played Telephone, you know how easily—and innocently—information gets twisted. By the end of the game, it’s impossible to tell what the first person meant!

Rumors spread in a similar way. And by the end of it, many people are hurt and confused. If you don’t know the truth, don’t hesitate to end the rumor right away.

2. Is It Careless Gossip?

Sometimes you can catch gossip in prayer requests with too much information, what we say while venting feelings, or “concern” for someone when we’re actually judging their motives.

It’s not even meant to be hurtful . . . sometimes.

But other times? We say things knowing it makes someone look bad.

3. Who Is It Serving?

You? The person you’re talking about? The person you’re talking to?

Far too often, we say the first thing that comes to mind without considering its impact. Or, we twist details to put us—or a friend—in a better light.

As Proverbs 16:24 says, “Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.”

So before you say anything, make sure it blesses someone.

4. Are You Exaggerating or Twisting Any Details?

You could be telling the truth. But are you embellishing, twisting, exaggerating, or leaving out any details?

5. Does It Put Anyone in a Bad Light?

You’ve likely heard the adage “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

You don’t know the full story. Only God does.

Stop playing God by judging your neighbor or putting somebody in a negative light.

6. Would You Say the Same Thing—in the Same Way—If the Person You’re Talking about Was in the Room?

Are you guilty of being friendly to someone’s face but whispering secrets or rumors behind their back?

It’s one thing to kindly confront someone about their sin—that can be helpful and encouraging. It’s completely different to spout off what you think when that person is gone. Not only are you harming the person you’re talking about, but gossip can hurt your reputation.

7. Would You Say the Same Thing If Jesus Was in the Room?

God does know what’s going on. He knows your thoughts, your motivations, and your words. Nothing escapes His notice.

One day we’ll give an account for every word we said (Matthew 12:36–37). They’re words we spoke in secret and in public, in attack or defense, and actively or idly.

But sometimes we need the reminder that God is always paying attention, and He cares deeply about His children.

How sad must He be when you say an unkind thing about your brother or sister in Christ? Would what you’re about to say glorify or grieve Him?

8. Is It Loving?

Does it bless? Encourage? Compliment?

Is it kind? Humble? Patient?

If your words aren’t loving, they don’t belong.

You know words can be used to bring death and life.

You know the power they can hold over your heart, and often the hearts of others around you.

The question is, how will you start using your words today?