10 Things to Remember When You’re around Your Friends

Friends are valuable, and the Bible agrees. In Genesis 2:18, God says, “It is not good for man to be alone.” Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 speaks about how two people are better than one in many ways.

The gist? You need good friends.

And that’s…hard. Friendships take work.

This list isn’t a promise that you’ll find a million amazing friends or even just one. But it is a reminder to be the friend you want others to be and to treat people as Christ treats them (John 15:13).

1. They’ll Mess Up

We generally fall into one of two groups when it comes to this issue. Group One wrongly assumes that our friends are perfect. Group Two is fully aware that our friends ruin everything they touch, and it’s our job to fix them.

Is either side right?

Are your friends perfect? Because mine aren’t.

Newsflash: Neither are yours.

They’re not God. They’re human—which means they’re imperfect.

Just like you, they battle sin, make mistakes, and need a Savior.

Now find me a Bible verse that says “Thou must fix thy friends.” I’m still looking for that one. You can and should love your friends, encourage them, and maybe even confront them every once in a while. But stop with the “holier than thou” attitude of trying to fix the people you should be sharing life with.

Next time they make a mistake, think twice before blowing smoke out of your ears. Your friends are God’s workmanship (Ephesians 2:10), and you’re doing Him a disservice by judging your friends.

2. Give as Much as You Take

What’s the point of your friendship?

Do you want to be there for each other, or do you want someone to have your back if you need a favor?

3. Love

If you’ve never read John 19 or 1 Corinthians 13, please, do it now. Because if you’ve ever wondered about the difference between culture’s view of love and God’s view, this will answer your questions.

Biblical love is amazing, beautiful, and awe-inspiring. It is also the opposite of what the world says, that you should take what you need and give only when you need a favor. God says the only way to love is to lay down everything.

It’s counter-cultural and tremendously difficult. It might hurt.

But you must love (John 15:12).

4. Serve

Give as much as you take, serve as much as you are served, and lower yourself to a servant’s position instead of taking the place of honor. Pride ruins friendships, but sacrificing all is the kind of love Christ displayed on the cross.

5. Listen

Have you ever heard the phrase “you have two ears and one mouth”? That means you should listen more than you talk.

Why listen?

When you listen, you’re focusing on others and their needs. When you spout your complaints, you’re not being others-focused.

How much do you listen? How will you change that?

6. Be Intentional

Friendships can easily slip away, but it’s critical that you keep the friendships you value. Stay in touch, don’t let fights split you apart, and fight for them.

Intentionally ask about their week, how they’re doing, if their sports games went well, and how you can pray for them.

7. Don’t Avoid Conflicts

We all need truth in our lives—and that friend who will hold us accountable. Navigating conflicts is treacherous, but you shouldn’t avoid them just to keep the peace. If your friend is walking in sin, guide them back to Jesus and His love for them.

8. Be Available

Will your friends go to you if they don’t think you’re available emotionally, spiritually, or physically?

You might not always be up for whatever they need, and that’s okay. Rest is okay. But you should also make sure you’re openly available for whatever needs they have.

9. Be Honest

This includes sharing your struggles and asking for help when you need it. Vulnerability can bring you closer.

10. Pray

For Them

Your friends are probably going through something they haven’t shared with you, or maybe what they have shared still needs prayer.

Your friend might be experiencing anything from stage fright to a terrible home life, which is why you must intentionally pray for your friends.

For a Heart of Love

Pray you will be a light, can love well, and can speak truth into their lives.

Pray they will have other amazing friendships, find God, share God, and be a light of their own.

Pray for them.

Because prayer changes things.

Scripture has a lot to say about the worth of a good friend (Proverbs 18:24, Psalm 133:1, Proverbs 17:17). Every person is God’s workmanship, and they matter so much to Him. Treat your friends well! And show them what the love of Christ looks like.